For both health and environmental reasons I haven't been eating much meat for the past couple of years. I'll go days or weeks without eating any meat at all, and over the last few months I've started going out of my way to avoid eating it. But when someone asks me if I'm a vegetarian, I reply, "Not really."
I don't want to fully commit to being a vegetarian for a few reasons, primarily because I'd like to be able to go out to restaurants and eat with friends. Often I can find a (good) vegetarian meal at an otherwise non-veggie restaurant, but sometimes I can't and have to order a meat dish. The same goes for places I travel - in many countries, particularly those where you cannot eat fresh fruits or vegetables for fear of getting sick, it's very difficult to find vegetarian fare, and I want to leave myself the option of being able to eat meat if need be. And finally, on occasion, there is something I find very tasty that just happens to contain meat.
Why not just call myself a vegetarian-who-sometimes-eats-meat? Because I feel that would be cheating, and it cheapens it for the people who absolutely will not eat animals. So why call it anything at all, and just eat what I want? Because I feel that if I don't say anything, I will be served anything, and I don't want to eat just anything.
As Michael Pollan was researching his book, "The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals", he became a vegetarian for awhile and had this to say about it:
"What troubles me most about my vegetarianism is the subtle way it alienates me from other people and, odd as this may sound, from a whole dimension of human experience. Other people now have to accomodate me, and I find this uncomfortable."Although he was speaking about the burden he places on the host(ess) when he goes to someone's house for dinner, I think it says a lot (see my statement above about eating in restaurants, for instance). Wouldn't it be nice if vegetarians and vegans didn't have to be "accomodated", and everyone could find something yummy to eat wherever they went?
- Mood:
contemplative
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
g_na- musings from g-na
- g-na (dot) org
Comments
Oh, I wasn't talking about you in terms of labels; saying you're vegetarian for a functional reason (i.e. to avoid eating unwanted meat) seems perfectly normal and desirable. On the other hand, I know people who define themselves in terms of being vegetarian/vegan/whatever - e.g. "I am a vegan! My name is Wendy!"
If you are served something you don't like then you say, politely, "Thank you but no. I believe I will pass." It works exceedingly well as long as you are amoung people who have been brought up properly. It has always worked very well for me when I decline seafood.
And if I go to a non-vegetarian restaurant and request a vegetarian meal, this sends a message to the chef that it just may be worth it to put (more) veggie items on the menu.
Likewise, how often do you go to restaurants that does not have vegetarian entrees available? At this point in time if a place doesn't have vegetarian items on the menu they just aren't concerned about the vegetarian business.
Honestly, I'm just not entirely sure exactly what you are worried about. Tell people you are a vegetarian. Then, when you see a side of beef that is esepcially tasty... eat it. Whats the problem?
So yeah, I feel it is important to let restaurants know they should have more veggie items on the menu. And at the aforementioned salad-and-fries restaurant i did ask the waiter to let the chef know that patrons were requesting veggie food. Who knows? Maybe he'll listen.
It also depends on the person -- there is a great variety in how people react to your food choices. (Although, as every vegan knows, there is a pretty short list of standard reactions, if you want to hear them!) The first year or so is hard, but once people get used to your dietary preferences, they really do see than it's not such a pain in the ass to eat with you after all. It's just a matter of finding what you're comfortable with. For example, I do not eat vegan when I travel outside of the US, because it's just too hard and because I don't want to entirely miss out on the local cuisine. However, I just cannot personally bring myself to eat meat, so I'd rather go in without food if the only option is, say, a chicken. But I still call myself vegan, and I'm okay with that.
Perhaps your food choices don't fit neatly into a label...which is just fine! I think "mostly vegetarian" is a perfectly acceptable thing to be and to tell people.
Anyway, as you can imagine, I have a lot of thoughts on the matter, which I would be happy to discuss with you any time. The important thing is finding out what works for you...and, again, like many other things in life, it may not fit in any particular category.
I'm sure it also comes with experience how to deal with a disappointing menu politely.
Reaction #1: "Well, I'm not going to stop eating meat!"
This is the response from people who see your vegetarianism as a personal affront. They then launch into a long description of why they eat meat, with lots of detailed examples. Some people sound guilty -- especially if make their own dietary accommodations like only eating free-range meat or something. Former vegetarians are often the worst. Others are just pissed off at you for no reason. Probably because you don't love America.
Reaction #2: "Oh my god, is it okay if I eat this chicken sandwich in front of you? I feel awful."
This is the response from people who don't want to offend you. I always tell them that it's very considerate of them to ask, but that I am perfectly okay dining with them. You usually have to tell people this about ten times and accompany them to several meat-friendly establishments before they believe you. But, you know, this reaction is okay by me -- at least they care.
Reaction #3: "Why?"
This is a perfectly valid question, but it can be from genuine curiosity or have the tone of "What the hell are you thinking?" I try to give an honest but not terribly detailed answer, because I do not want people to think I am pushing my views on them. Sometimes it leads to an interesting discussion. Sometimes it leads into reaction #1, where people try to refute you point by point.
Reaction #4: "So, what do you eat?"
The proper response to this question is: "Nuts and berries." But, seriously, I get asked this a lot. People cannot fathom food that doesn't center around meat, which makes sense, because this is the way most of us grew up eating. I tell people that I eat vegetarian versions of non-European food, and give some common examples (falafel, bean burritos, stir-fries...) Most of the time, this requires several explanations before they really remember: "Oh, so NO milk, right? What about eggs?" Again, this is very much okay with me. At least they are trying to understand.
Reaction #5: "Do you eat..." "How about..." "Wait! A-ha! Your shoes are leather!"
These are people who are trying to catch you being inconsistent. This one probably only applies to vegans. People ask you everything they can think of, as if you wouldn't have thought through these things before. I can usually shock them with something they don't know about, like refined sugar, and then they believe that I am serious and leave me alone. And, no, my shoes are not leather. Fuck off.
Reaction #6: "How do you know carrots don't have feelings?"
This reaction is very popular with my father. I have been some shade of vegetarian over half my life now and he still asks me this. Other people do too. It drives me batty. I try to be nice about this one but usually end up snarkily suggesting they go back to Bio 101.
Reaction #7: "Okay. Wow. What's that like?"
These people secretly want to be vegetarians. My mother falls in this category, fortunately for me. It's nice to have people curious and interested in a positive way.
There's probably more, but I think that's long enough for now! :)
I don't need a label as such, but I would like some position that I could name. Right now, as I said, my best effort is "respect the meat". Eat it less, eat good stuff, preferably organic and free range and sustainably farmed (for fish), make sure it's worth it (well prepared). Avoid the diced and reprocessed crap that comes from the intensive farms. I don't need meat in pasta or risotto or stir fry or a ton of other dishes, so just leave it out.
you reminded me of a few years ago when i was a vegan, dating a vegetarian. lol. vegan with food allergies. gee, no, i couldn't possibly have alienated anyone ;-)
recently i was conversing with someone who brought up the idea that it's not just hormones in meats, hormones are in so many food products these days. i haven't started to research that yet, i've got so much else to take care of first this month and next.
i've always preferred fresh, local, minimally manipulated foods (meat, produce, everything-- i come from a long line of farmers and grocers).
but lately, the more aware i become, the more my food purchases narrow.
however, i refuse to become a breatharian. dammit, i love food too much.
on that note, i need to finish breakfast ;-)
And speaking of alienation - I'm a would-be vegetarian who doesn't eat fungi. Since so many veggie meals are made with mushrooms (I can't eat at Millenium Restaurant at all), it's part of the reason I haven't gone 100% veggie.